This is the first time i decided to write after my father passed away from cancer last year, even today it is difficult to write anything, the only coping mechanism that I had at the time was writing. I would try and work on my novel or make a compilation of short stories or I would write articles just like these to help me process what I was going through. I was fascinated by the concept of writing when I was in high school, to think that I was capable to explain what was going on in my head was like a whole new world to me. It gave me a chance to escape from reality and answered questions that sometimes people didn't have the answer to.
So, after about 8 months of my father losing his battle to cancer, i sit here, writing again, as he would have loved. He wasn't able to read my articles about cancer, but he knew that I was writing about my experience as a caregiver. It is tough, I’m not going to lie. The transition to the “real” world i.e a world where my father is not here anymore, is tough, but it gives me a chance to use my writing to help people feel less isolated or alone.
Cancer is lonely, but it is also a learning path. I have colleagues who are battling cancer or have won their battle with cancer, but still have the battle wounds. To sit down with them and have a conversation, brings up topics that in general, we would have felt uncomfortable to bring up. As I grieve the loss of my father, I am happy that at least he is in a pain-free and better place, even though it took me so long to come back to what I loved most which was writing. This was maybe my battle with myself, the reality that I am still able to find the positive in this battle that honestly just hasn't ended, but rather comes in phases.
To the reader that is reading this, may you be battling cancer, or you are a caregiver, know that your story is important and that what you are going through is not a walk in the park. You should be proud and know that there are resources out there to help you. Also, asking for help doesn't make you weak.
As I start my journey again of writing, I hope I am able to continue it. It has been a struggle, but it has given me insight as to who I am and what I am capable of.
