Embracing change is vital. It’s how we evolve. But is it possible to embrace a change as traumatic as cancer?
As cancer survivors, we may feel huge pressure to start making life-changing decisions after treatment ends, from taking up clean living to ticking off bucket list adventures. There is no room in society’s narrative for the inspirational cancer survivor to be experiencing anxiety, depression or grief.
But surviving is not just about victory; it is about loss, change and readjustment.
The start of my own ‘survivorship’ began with processing the trauma I had experienced. I gave myself time to adjust to my new post-cancer reality by hibernating from the world; COVID-19 restrictions facilitated this. It took a year of working with a psychologist and an amazing support group to process everything I had been through. This is when the unexpected change in me started to happen.
Growing from trauma
In the US, up to half of cancer patients will exhibit a significant level of distress, and trauma such as PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) will affect 1 in 5 patients. Even if we are not diagnosed with PTSD, most of us will experience uncomfortable emotions such as grief, fear, anger, anxiety or depression. At the darkest times, it might feel like we will be forever consumed by our worries; in these moments it may seem impossible to find anything positive to cling to.
Psychologist Dr Arielle Schwartz believes that “with sufficient support, it is possible to successfully navigate through these vulnerable emotions. In time, hopefully, we can reframe our relationship to pain and discomfort as an invitation to enter into a transformational journey awakening post-traumatic growth.” (Source)
When I was newly diagnosed with cancer, I sought out survivor stories. It surprised me that many talked about being ‘thankful’ for the gifts that cancer had given them, how was this possible? I didn’t understand this concept until I heard about Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG).
What is Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG)?
PTSD is the most widely known consequence of exposure to traumatic events. An equally valid, though lesser-known outcome of trauma, is Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG).
Post traumatic growth (PTG) is a theory that explains a positive transformation following trauma. It was developed by psychologists Richard Tedeschi, PhD, and Lawrence Calhoun, PhD, in the mid-1990s, and summarized that people who endure psychological struggle following adversity can often see positive growth afterwards.
Considered both a process and an outcome, post-traumatic growth is evaluated by five positive response areas measured by the PTG inventory. It evaluates whether, and to what extent, someone has achieved ‘growth’ after a trauma.
When you have experienced trauma, it may be hard to see the progress you have made. We are growing all the time, but it’s easy to overlook these incremental stages when we forget to celebrate our small achievements. It is important to notice that the small changes you are making all contribute to the bigger process of healing and growth.
5 Signs You Might Be Experiencing Post Traumatic Growth
1: Greater appreciation of life
It is common to hear cancer survivors say that they have a new appreciation for life after a diagnosis. When you receive an all-clear, you feel grateful that you have survived, but it also comes at the expense of prematurely facing your mortality and acknowledging your vulnerability.
In the words of philosopher Alain De Botton - “Life may have to show itself to us in some of its authentically tragic colours before we can begin to grow properly visually responsive to its subtler offerings”.
Since my diagnosis, I have developed a deep-rooted desire to make braver and bolder choices to feel more ‘alive’. This summer, I braved cold water swimming; it gave me the euphoric feeling of being truly alive and an appreciation of what my body is capable of.
When you face your mortality, it forces you to question your thought process on your priorities, career, family and friends. When we are pushed to our limits, we begin to question who we are, what is important to us, and to take stock of everything we have. It does not happen overnight. I held my breath until my first ‘all clear’ scan, and only then started to let myself hope for a future, living one day at a time until I was able to look a little further ahead.
2: Healthier relationships
Many will see relationships break down as a result of cancer; it is even more important then that we align ourselves with those that can offer us the support we need.
Having clarity on which relationships are the most supportive for your growth will give you the best resources to make those meaningful changes in your life and strengthen your will to ‘survive’.
Being lucky enough to find a cancer support group has been life-changing for me. I discovered a deep relationship with a community of inspiring people who just ‘got it’, and it was freeing to have a space to share the honesty of the highs and lows we were all experiencing.
As humans, we take great pleasure and solace in being able to offer support to others. This provision of support might “function as a distraction and increase levels of self-esteem and feelings of independence, thus being positively related to patients’ well-being" according to at least one recent scientific study.
3: Seeing new possibilities in life
How many of us have forgotten that we are the architects of our own lives? You are the only one who can make positive changes and it is your responsibility to look out for new possibilities.
After my ‘all clear’ I wanted to take back control. I was determined that cancer was not going to define me, or be the most interesting thing about me. I wanted more from my life than the limited possibilities and dreams that I had confined myself to in my pre-cancer world.
Start by appreciating the little things and being open to new possibilities. This will help you focus your attention on what nurtures and sustains you and your priorities. Appreciation can be found in practicing gratitude. Start by noticing the everyday things that you used to take for granted and be open to new possibilities that you may have previously overlooked.
4: Greater personal strength
Adversity has a way of making us aware of strengths and abilities that we never knew we were capable of.
During cancer treatment, I was surprised at my strength and resilience, as it was never something I thought I was brave enough to endure. I didn't know I was so strong, and it made me question —“what else am I capable of?”
Post-traumatic growth goes beyond resilience. Rather than simply persevering through a challenge and then getting back on with your life, it represents the ability to reflect, grow and shift your perspective to live a more fulfilling life.
I am certain that all those diagnosed with cancer find a strength they didn’t know they were capable of. Take time to acknowledge and identify the strengths and talents you have uncovered on your journey, then celebrate them!
5: Spiritual change
It was noted by Tedeschi and Calhoun that after a traumatic incident took place, people whose beliefs towards religion and spirituality grew stronger, were able to experience post-traumatic growth.
You might lean into an existing religion, or you might start to seek out a deeper meaning in life by looking at a ‘higher power’ to make sense of the world. Many find that spiritual support has given them the additional strength to find solace, comfort or meaning.
Having faith cannot change what has happened to you, but it can give you the strength to live more intentionally and with a deeper sense of purpose. If you are not religious, you could spend time on spiritual practices like meditation and positive affirmations to help continue your growth.
How to encourage personal growth
Here are some of the ways you can encourage your own post-traumatic growth, helping you ‘reboot’ your life and enable you to live in a positive way not thought possible before cancer:
- Try to manage anxiety - Use relaxation techniques, or find an outlet such as exercise or reaching out to your network for support.
- Take time to acknowledge and reflect on your experience - Process the trauma through journaling, talking in support groups, or reaching out to professionals for help.
- Connect with others - Finding mutual understanding in a support group helps you to create deeper relationships and allows you to understand your experience by hearing what others have also been through.
- Focus on creating new post-cancer goals and dreams - By working through your trauma you will have a better understanding of your priorities and goals. Think through what you have learned from your experience, then plan how you want to live more fully.
Post-traumatic growth does not negate the trauma; they coexist. Nor is its aim to minimize the seriousness of what has happened to you. Calhoun and Tedeschi importantly state “post traumatic growth does not always lead to happiness or cheerfulness, it just leads to a bigger experience of wholeness and meaning in life”. (Source)
You do not need to feel pressured to look for a silver lining or be grateful for cancer. The process acknowledges that whilst you wish you were never diagnosed, you can still find and appreciate the growth that has stemmed as a result.
It is important that you notice how cancer has changed and influenced you and how you can use this to live in a more mindful way. This is how you take your power back. It is how you make the positive growth that you didn’t realize cancer could allow you to make.
